In May,

I speak it into existence 

& I get it myself.

Alas (that’s right, you heard me, I said “alas”), I sit here at 10:09pm on April 29th accidentally watching a reality tv show about skateboarding on Viceland while I work on my newsletter rough draft. I turned 27 last Thursday and it’s got me thinking... life is actually pretty alright, especially as of late. In fact, life has been better than alright. 

Why am I reflecting on this? Because I remember what it was like when I was living on the opposite end of the spectrum. It started getting out of hand this winter in particular. And it’s honestly still hard for me to articulate the way it truly felt. What I do know is that I would like to not feel that way in the future if I can help it. And based on how I’m feeling now, I’ve shown myself that I can help it. Why am I telling you all of this? Because I remember what it felt like when other people I knew spoke up about mental health. After I realized other people felt the way I felt when I was feeling hopeless, that’s when I realized I didn’t have to struggle in painfully shameful silence. Nowadays, I talk about the real real when it comes to self-care/love/discovery. PSA: This topic should not be considered taboo, cliche or overrated. It’s important. Trendy, but important.

I am legitimately stunned that it’s already May even though I knew damn well it was coming. Looking back as I embark upon the fifth month of 2019, its has truly been such a beautiful 2019 in a crescendo sort of way. Yes, of course, part of the gloom was the weather, but more of it was other stuff. Personal stuff. Life, you know? Then an epiphany hit me... Growing up, and truly up until the start of last year, I realized I was in a habitual cycle of planting seeds of remorse for every microscopic detail and/or common mistake I’ve ever made in my everyday life; watering these seeds with many tears over the years. 

It wasn’t like I slipped into it all overnight, it began with harmless nagging and picking at myself when I could have been lifting myself up. Over time, it just sort of snowballed and eventually consumed me. But then again, I suppose that should be anticipated when you’re not eating enough, not sleeping enough and not letting yourself have enough fun. When I hold myself to societal induced standards, I distract myself from what it actually means to be decent human, being. 

In January, I was what I ate
In February, I appreciated the beauty of time.
In March, cash ruled everything around me.
In April, I was grateful.

Now that it’s May, I speak it into existence & I get it myself.
In honor of DRAM by way of Evelyn from the Internets by way of Austin from Instagram, I present to you this month’s playlist, “In May, I Get It Myself.”

This playlist motivates my hustle while keeping me balanced and flowing. Confidence is a muscle I recently learned how to flex. Speaking what I want into existence then collecting on the investment I made in myself is a feeling like no other. It’s magic. As always, special thanks to my main squeeze for mixing this playlist for ultimate flow.


On the blog: stream of consciousness & other thoughts on the law of attraction 

If you can dream it, go be it.
Why not?
Because it’s cheesy?
Try again, fool.
Just kidding about the fool part.
But for real.
On the blog: 27 goals at age 27

I sound like a broken record these days because I’m constantly saying “speak it into existence,” but I feel like this has been a long untapped resource in my day to day life. Ever since I adapted this mantra last year in January as I studied for my ncidq exams, this affirmation has seemingly enabled me to level up when I need it in whole or in part because I believe it.

In May, speak it into existence & get it yourself. 


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